Ship Note
by Flavvie
Summary: Karkat happens upon Hussie's Ship Note, a book that allows him to control ships.
1. Chapter 1

Whistling the Squiddles song, AH strolled nonchalantly through the dream bubble. He took in his surroundings pleasantly and reflected on the hiatus. He enjoyed this break, not having to worry about the complexities of all the events surrounding him, and yet, his mind continued to wander onto that topic anyway.

He flipped through the pages of the book he was holding. All the ships that he had ever made canon were contained within. He grinned deviously as he thought of ideas for how to mess with them. It was a great treasure to him, and he brought it with him wherever he went, afraid to let it out of his sight and give someone a chance to steal it. He shuddered to think what might happen if someone like Nepeta gained access to the book that determined what ships were canon.

But he was on vacation now, and there was no point worrying about something like that. Besides, he was obviously foreshadowing, and it would be wise to cut his thoughts short before he jinxed it. Hesitantly, he put away the notebook and went back to his leisurely stroll.

* * *

Karkat glared at his creator from a distance. What the fuck did this guy think he was doing? Who was he anyway? He had heard Vriska mention him a few times, but he still was confused by him. Then again, he was confused about almost everything that had been happening recently. There was plenty of time to dwell on that later though, for now he'd just watch.

As he observed him, AH suddenly dropped some kind of book on the ground. He didn't seem to notice though, and he kept walking, so it was probably some kind of sylladex malfunction. Karkat waited for him to walk out of sight before he went over to inspect the book. It was just a simple black notebook with the words "Ship Note" written on the cover in comic sans. Raising an eyebrow, he opened it up and found instructions on the inside cover.

"The characters whose names are written in this note shall become a canon pairing," he read aloud. "If the quadrant or charms of the ship are written within 40 seconds of writing the characters' names, they will take effect. If the quadrant or charms are not specified, the characters will simply enter into a flushed relationship. Once a pairing has been made canon, it can never be written in the Ship Note again using the same quadrant or charms."

Karkat scoffed, flipping through the pages. "So much detail on the rules," he mused, "and everything written in here has happened." He continued inspecting it the whole way back to his hive, trying to convince himself it wasn't real. Of course, deep down he knew he was going to try it anyway. Sitting down at his desk and making sure no one was around, he opened to the first blank page and prepared to write, pencil hovering just above the paper for a few brief moments before plunging in.

"KARKAT VANTAS," he spelled out, holding his breath and flushing in embarrassment at what he was doing. Next, right beside his own name, he wrote "SOLLUX CAPTOR," and then sat back in his chair to wait.

Never had time seemed to pass so slowly. As the seconds ticked by and echoed in his head, thoughts endlessly barraged him about how stupid he was to try that, and what would happen if someone found out, and that he never should have even taken the book in the first place. After what seemed like an eternity, he was finally snapped back to reality by a knock on his window accompanied by Sollux's voice.

"Hey KK open up," he was saying as he wrapped his hand against the glass.

Karkat jumped, quickly hiding the notebook in a drawer and rushing over to open the window. "Oh, hey there Captor. What are you doing here?" He greeted, nervousness creeping into his voice.

Sollux raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong? You seem jumpy."

Karkat hesitated. "No, it's nothing. I just wasn't expecting you. Why are you here anyway?"

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about," he said, scratching the back of his neck and blushing slightly.

"Okay what is it?" Karkat responded, heart racing, hoping it was about what he thought it was about.

"I was thinking recently, about you, and I realized something. This is going to sound weird, but I thought I'd tell you anyway. I think I'm red for you."

Karkat's jaw dropped, and he briefly glanced back to where he had placed the notebook before looking back at Sollux, who was still speaking. "I just realized that you're actually a really good leader, and one of my closest friends besides AA, but she's already my moirail. Anyway, I think you're cute and I like hanging with you and I was wondering if you would consider a matespritship?"

Karkat immediately rushed forward to hug him, a massive grin forming on his face. "Yes. Oh my god yes."

Sollux grinned in return, pulling him into a long, sloppy kiss.

"Let me stay with you forever," Sollux whispered into his ear as he kissed all over the side of his face.

Karkat nodded in response, purring deeply. "I will."

* * *

Back at his workroom, AH reached into his sylladex to find the notebook missing. He cursed, head desking for a few moments before setting back out into the Canon World. "I will find whoever stole it from me," he swore. "I will find them, and I will make it so that they would _beg_ to be given the same treatment as Eridan."


	2. Chapter 2

Descending back into the dream bubble, AH approached the door to Karkat's hive. His mission, to question all of the bubble's inhabitants for any information that would help him locate his notebook, and punish whoever had taken it. When he received no response after knocking on the door, he decided to simply bust it open, and found himself facing Karkat and Sollux making out in the middle of the room.

Karkat quickly pulled away and turned to shout at him, an eye twitching. "What the fuck are you doing here? If I wanted visitors, I would have answered when you knocked. Now get the fuck out of my hive right now, nooksucker!" AH simply stood there, jaw dropping. "I said get the fuck out!" The troll shouted again, marching towards him angrily.

"Yeah, asshole," Sollux agreed, crossing his arms. "If you're going to spy on us, you should at least try to be secretive about it."

AH left without a word, deep in thought. That settled it, someone had already used the notebook. The question was, who was it? He decided that it was too early to tell, and he would need to wait for more ships as he investigated. One thing, he was relieved to note, was certain. The thief was not Nepeta. He continued to mull things over as he wandered towards the next hive on his list to continue the investigation.

* * *

Later that day - or at least, what seemed like later, as time passage is impossible to measure in a dream bubble - Karkat sat with Sollux asleep on his lap, turning the notebook over in his hands. If he wanted to get that human off his trail, he would have to do something, and fast. He'd already gotten what he wanted from the Ship Note, so now he gave zero fucks who else he had to pair. Well, that wasn't entirely the truth, he admitted. He felt that he knew some things about relationships, and he certainly wasn't going to do anything that would fuck everything up too badly. Wait shit, he'd probably just jynxed that.

At this point though, he had to think of a plan. He needed to draw suspicion from himself, and frame other people, at least for long enough that AH would get confused and give up, or he could think of something better. Biting his lip, he opened the notebook and raised his pencil, pausing to consider what names to write. A smirk formed on his face as he made up his mind. "JOHN EGBERT x DAVE STRIDER." Now that was sure to piss AH off. He'd probably be forced to spend so much time trying to sink it that he wouldn't even have a chance to investigate. Karkat chuckled at the thought, giving himself a mental high five.

His thoughts were interrupted when Sollux began to stir on his lap, eyes fluttering open. "Hey KK," he said through his yawn, grinning at him.

Karkat jumped slightly, quickly captchaloguing the notebook. "Oh you're awake already."

"What was that book you had?" Sollux asked.

"Yeah, that," he responded nervously. "Just a ... private notebook."

Sollux snickered. "What kind of private notebook?"

"The private kind."

"It's smut, isn't it?"

Karkat face palmed, blushing. "No, it's just private.

"Fine," Sollux pouted, before pausing and whispering in his ear, "it's okay, I won't tell anyone."

"Just shut the fuck up."

"Make me," the yellow blood smirked. Karkat responded by roughly pulling him into another kiss.

At this point, outside the hive, Nepeta captchalogued her binoculars, frowning. The rumors were true, they really had gotten together. She supposed she should be happy for them, but she just wasn't able to summon positive feelings. However, that book that Karkat had been looking at peaked her interest. She decided she'd investigate it sometime, but at that moment, she didn't want to spend anymore time near his hive.

* * *

Far away, in another part of the bubble, John was wandering around when he happened upon two figures making out in the shadows. Curious, he began to approach them, when suddenly he noticed who it was.

"What's going on here?" He half squeaked and half screamed. The doomed version of himself and Dave quickly pulled away from each other, turning towards him with amused looks on their faces.

"'Sup," the alternate Dave said shortly.

"I-I don't understand," Alpha John stammered, "I'm-"

The doomed version of himself cut him off, "You're a homosexual, John."

"I'm a what?"

"A homosexual, and a thumpin' sexy one too," Dave said.

"But - Noooooo!" John shouted over-dramatically, causing the doomed players to snicker and roll their eyes.

"What is it now?" The Alpha Dave groaned, trudging over to them, before noticing who was with him and freezing. "What are they doing here?"

"Sloppy make outs, until he interrupted," doomed Dave replied.

"Oh god, are you serious?" Alpha Dave said, blushing furiously.

"Yeah," both Johns simultaneously confirmed.

"Fuck this shit, it's giving me a headache," Alpha Dave groaned, walking away again.

Alpha John followed after him, hesitant to speak. As they walked, he considered what his doomed self had told him, closely inspecting Dave's body as he mulled it over in his head. Maybe the other him had been right; after all, Dave certainly seemed attractive now that he thought about it.

"Dude, you're staring at my ass, aren't you?" Dave said without turning around.

John laughed nervously in response, "Maybe."

"Well? Homo or no homo?"

"That is the question," John mused aloud.

"If it helps, I've been in love with you since before the game," Dave said after a long pause.

John stopped walking, stunned. "You're not just pulling my leg here, are you?"

"Nah," Dave shrugged, turning around to look at him.

"I think," John hesitated for a moment, "I think I'll give this a try." Having said that, he pulled Dave into a sudden kiss, just as AH walked past.

The creator frowned. This was going to be tougher than he had thought.


End file.
